What do women want?

The question could just as easily have been “What do men want?”

The great question…which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”

                                                                                                                                                                                                          -Sigmund Freud

One could make it a little more complicated by asking about a specific occasion, such as for a birthday suprise or as a Christmas gift. Who in the world can get inside someone’s mind to try to figure that out? And passing over a hundred bucks and saying “Go out and treat yourself” just doesn’t make a lady feel special. So what does a woman want?  I can’t answer that for every woman out there, but I have an idea of what I want.

I want peace of mind.  I don’t want to have to feel that what I want is wrong, or not as it should be.  If I say I want to go to Spain to walk in the path of the missionaries on the camino de Santiago, I don’t want laughter and putdowns. I want to know that my family understands my need to travel and experience life in other parts of the world. I want to go to bed, feeling that I am safe until I awaken, barring an earthquake or heart attack, which no one can predict with 100% accuracy.

I want and need love. Not the I’ll call you on your birthday kind of love. I need to see it on a daily basis. Not gold or silver, or gemstones or diamonds. Not roses or daffodils all the time…but as a surprise occasionally, when I’m least expecting it.  I need my family to appreciate the little efforts I make to keep us bonded, the little cards I send with little messages.  The cookies I make when they visit, because I know they love them. And the visits I make to spend time with them. I know I shouldn’t have expectations of others, but I do, and is that so very wrong? I am not asking for a a lot. An unexpected email or phone call when the time is right for them, or a painting done on a weekend when it’s rainy and no one can get outside to play.  Just because….they love me!

I need time for me, to explore my spirituality. If that is in a book or a trip to the shrine, or to church, so be it. No judgements from anyone. Except God, of course, if he decides to let me know!

I feel creative when I get to use my imagination. I have a need to be creative, whether it is in making my own loaf of muti-grain bread from scratch or designing a quilt for a son’s or nephew’s wedding. Perhaps it’s in the way I get others involved in writing a book as a keepsake for this year’s Come Home Year’s celebrations. So, yes, I need creativity and imagination in my life.

Friends and family-what would life be like without them? Good friends help the world in so many ways. They stand with you in moments of sorrow and pain. They care for you, when you are as low as you can go! They make you laugh when life seems impossible at times. They are there when you need them. Family is like the top of the pyramid, next to God. You know that life would never be the same without them. They are like a limb or eye, that if missing, aches for that which was once visible. Parents and grandparents die and go to their Maker, and you miss them forever. You wonder what each one would do about each situation in your life, even when you almost know the answer! And you never want them to die or go away.

So what does a woman want? I think she wants a peaceful, loving world filled with people who she loves and loves her in return. A place where she feels respected and her opinion is important to her friends and family. A world where she feels creative and helpful in making the planet a better environment for everyone. A place where she can hear her grandchild whisper in her ear “I love you nanny!” and know that she’s doing everything she can to make his life as beautiful as hers has been. That sense of fulfillment that comes with knowing that she tried her best and when her  time is over, she has no regrets!


About Newfoundland Traveller

I'm a Newfoundlander with a love of reading, writing and travelling. I've travelled around our province and lived in four provinces of Canada. I love a good book and a good blog. My family means the world to me, and some day I hope to travel to many countries of the world with my husband and sons' families.
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14 Responses to What do women want?

  1. nuvofelt says:

    Yes, I agree with your summing up, however, a Psychology lecturer once told me that ‘a woman wants what a woman wants NOW, and not what she wants in half an hour.’

  2. Darlene says:

    Well put, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks Pauline.

  3. Wonderful post, Pauline, and your last paragraph sums it up well, except, I’m not a grandma, yet, so hearing “I love you, Mom” from my 17 & 21 year old is contentment enough. 🙂

  4. This is a pretty good summary. You caught most of my wants.

  5. You have spoken for many women Pauline! I would even venture to say every single female on this planet.Perfectly said indeed!

  6. dorannrule says:

    This just says it all Pauline! A wonderful post.

  7. This is an absolutely beautiful post, Pauline. I recognized the honesty in your writing. Loved it.

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